SIEZE the day

Not the father's day I had planned.

I woke up early to the sound of epic commotion coming from downstairs. Was it an earthquake? Were the boys engaged in a raucous fistfight? Had Libby fallen out with a thunderous thud? No, it was Gunner, having another seizure.

He hasn't done this for a few months, actually. Not since he was officially diagnosed "epileptic." And even then, his seizures were few and far between- never as long in duration as they felt. But today his seizures have been far worse. He's had at least four that I've seen- and possibly another 1-2 while we were at church.

Each time he seizes he evacuates- that's been a hassle. He also bit himself on the lip and left some blood stains on the carpet- that's been a hassle. But the real discouragement stems from my inability to help him. He simply isn't himself and there's nothing I can do. When he is seizing, and right when he "wakes up" we're not supposed to touch him. He is completely bewildered/disoriented and could respond aggressively. All I can do is talk to him and wait. I feel like a cheerleader- I'm part of the game but not really in the game. I'm just powerless.

It occurs to me, since it's Father's Day, that this type of passive "spectatorship" might just be a part of parenthood. We do everything we can to prepare our kids. Give them guidance, training, support, etc. But in the blink of an eye, we'll be reduced to cheerleaders. Left with no recourse but to pray and hope.