Open doors

Not long ago I mentioned the possibility that a new door could be opening. Now it's time to explain- Tomorrow I will quit my job. I will sign a contract with a new counseling agency, and I will resign my current position as Program Director. I don't make this decision lightly- this is a process that has been unfolding over the past several months. Here are the factors that influenced my decision: 1) Medicaid is changing. There isn't any money. I foresee massive cuts for the 2012 legislature. I was worried my program wouldn't survive the 2011 session. I felt compelled to find something more stable (i.e. NOT MEDICAID DEPENDENT). This new company accepts various insurance companies in addition to Medicaid (i.e. Tri-care, Blue Cross) and also has several contracts to provide services for other local organizations, including a heavy emphasis on serving refugees. 2) The "children's redesign." The way developmental services are provided is changing. Drastically changing. I started laying the foundation for this program in May of 2009. We finally opened in October 2010. It was an INCREDIBLE amount of work, planning, and preparation to get up and running. Now, just 5 months later, virtually ALL the rules have changed. Credentials, qualifications, requirements have all changed. I'm no longer eligible to provide the most intensive level of services based on a rules change. It's maddening. 3) Money. We are planning for Joy to stay home next year. Every last bit we can save will help. This new job pays significantly more. AND, this new site is approved for a federal student loan repayment progam. If I can get my college loans forgiven- well, I'd be a madman to pass on it. Not only will I make more money, I'll have a more flexible schedule. The main reasons not to make this move? 1) Change. Change sucks. I've been in my current company for 5 years. I have participants I've worked with since 2006. That's older than Luke! a) When you're a therapist people act so shocked and betrayed when you quit. I understand this- in some cases levels of trust have reached incredible depth. I've had people tell me I'm their best friend, they wish I was their father, they wish we could hang out, etc. etc. etc. (keep in mind these are mentally ill people). But their pain is real whether it makes sense to me or not. And that's a sad reality. It's the nature of the beast, I guess. Of course I don't want to hurt people. b) Change can be scary. 'Nuff said. 2) I'm attached to my program. I literally authored it into existence. I hired the staff. They trust the program to provide their jobs. And the program is helping people in need! My fear is that the program will end when I go. This was a major source of internal conflict for me. I didn't want to leave for greener pastures only to see my employees be laid off or "re-assigned." One of them is a single mother with two kids. c) This morning I was lofting up "hail mary pass" prayers. I asked God to make it clear to me what I should do. (This isn't the first time I've prayed this, but this was the most fervently/desperately). A short time late my current boss came to me and we talked about the state of the program. She subtly indicated that she was concerned about the economic viability of the program. She "mentioned" that discontinuing the program was "one option." (Historically, this is how my boss tells me she has already made a decision- she brings it up for "discussion" over several conversations and becomes increasingly stubborn and bull-headed until "we decide" that her way is the right way). And so it seemed clear- the program, and the staff, were probably doomed whether I stayed or not. So, tomorrow I will quit my job. Here's to new beginnings- cheers!