The science of power struggles

You ever encounter a situation in which a "power struggle," seemed inevitable? I had this happen yesterday and I am absolutely convinced there was nothing I could have done to avoid it. As a counselor who works with 7-8 teenagers per day, I consider myself fairly adept at navigating in and around power struggles. Usually I can see them coming, diffuse them, sidestep them, or prevent them. On some occasions (in counseling) I have even purposefully caused them. Yesterday was a different story.

The context: I work at a mental health clinic as a counselor. There is a waiting list of kids who want to come in for counseling and not enough time in a day to see them all. Yesterday, immediately after I voluntarily surrendered my lunch on Mondays to see a returning client, the parent of a brand new client became upset about the lack of flexibility in my schedule. Our conversation went something like this:

Her: "He doesn't want to miss band. Can we just put off starting counseling for a few weeks until he feels ready?"

Me: "No. He can miss once for the beginning of school, but anything beyond that and I'd be ethically mandated to see somebody who actually wants to be here. You see, we have a waiting list of 20 families who would take that spot in an instant and I can't justify holding for someone for anything less than an emergency."

Her: "You're a counselor?? You need to come up with some solutions!"

Me: "Ummmm. Well, he can miss once and then start attending appointments, or he can miss multiple appointments and lose his time slot to someone else. Or, he can be transferred to a new counselor, but I doubt he'll find an after school appointment (everybody wants after school)."

Her: "I can't believe this is the best you can do! You're supposed to be a professional, and I don't even think I can trust you to help- You're totally dismissing my son! I can't believe how uncaring you are."

Me: (keep in mind I just sacrificed to my hallowed lunch to see a kid) "There is no reason for you to be rude to me. If I understand you, you are asking me to keep other kids on a waiting list and hold an available time for your son while he decides when and if he'll want to come in?"

Her: "No, YOU are being rude! You're not LISTENING to me!! You are supposed to be able to HELP us!"

(Funny how for some people "listening" and "obeying" is the same thing. As if it is impossible for me to understand what she wants and not give it to her)

Her: "Transfer me to the receptionist, I want a new counselor. I don't think I can trust you to talk to my son, and YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A COUNSELOR!"

In hindsight, there really wasn't much I could have done to derail this crazy train. If I had it to do over again I probably could have been more empathetic and maybe thrown in some dramatics to help her feel more like I was "on her side." I wish I was still seeing this kiddo, because now I feel like I really have some insight into the problem.