Brights

An open letter to the drivers on Happy Valley Road between 4:45am-6:15am:

I want to express gratitude for your extra precautious approach to driving at 445am. I can see how, from 1/2 mile away, I could look like a stray moose on the side of the road. After all, lots of mammals wear a white nike head-band. And, lots of mammals emit frozen vapor-breath at nearly seven foot tall. I hear Sasquatch is an avid jogger. You really went the extra mile by keeping your brights on for the entire half mile as you approached me.

I can assure you that I will not throw myself in front of your car. But, out of love and respect for me and the hardship I'm enduring- you hug the side of the road and speed up in order to pass me. I suppose your emphasis on safety isn't completely unwarranted: I could potentially trip in one of the monstrous potholes in the shoulder and fall before your vehicle. This is particularly possible since I am rendered completely blind for 1/2 mile as you approach.

I wanted to tell you that while I appreciate your concern there really is no need for you to share the road with a lowly jogger. My day is chock full of spare time in which I could run 8 miles- there is no need for me to get up at 445 and run. In fact, there exists an ample supply of 90 minute blocks throughout my day in which I could exercise.

This morning I almost tripped over a dead possum as I stumbled blindly down the shoulder. I kicked him, but with the agility of a mountain goat I maintained my footing and prevented a catastrophic fall. Rest assured, the unnecessary extra energy expenditure doesn't bother me at all! I'm actually surprised to see roadkill out there when everyone is so courteous to me when I'm jogging.

Thanks again for your time. I hope you enjoy buzzing me as much as I enjoy your focus on pedestrian safety.