Applying for aide

Yesterday I had an interesting experience: I applied for government aide at the local welfare office. This was done at our doctor's request, and I remain skeptical that my son will get coverage. But when a doctor says, "this is going to get expensive," you swallow your pride and look for help.

I surveyed the other people in the office. Next to me was a Hispanic Male with obvious gang-related tattoos covering his neck. (I know these were gang tattoos because as a probation officer I was trained to recognize them). He was wearing a beanie with a sizable cannabis leaf embroidered on the front of it. Almost immediately, I judged him. He was guilty. Next, I started feeling angry that this character had the audacity to come in and ask for government aide. Surely, I thought, I am more deserving of help than this guy! "Why don't you ask the West Side Lomas for medical coverage?" And, "if you can buy marijuana you can buy groceries!" I actually considered confronting him and asking him to kindly remove the hat espousing illegal drugs while asking the government and the taxpayers for help. I decided a confrontation at the welfare office wouldn't help anyone.

But shortly afterwards I reflected on my thoughts and feelings. Probably because it's Christmas...I realized, "since when does one have to qualify for grace?" In this season, when we celebrate God's abundant grace for us, I couldn't even extend grace to a fellow. If I was God, I'd be really irritated at me. Then again, I obviously don't possess God's level of grace, do I? ::sigh:: I think some pretty disturbing things sometimes. But one thing I never want to think is that I am God, or that it is my place to judge someone else.

Whether my son gets help or not- I hope the people I saw in the office get help. And even if it comes from our taxes, I don't mind helping them. It's a small gift in light of the Gift we've all recieved.