Ever have a foot-in-mouth experience?

Sometimes in counseling I see some people who really don't have it all together. One of the telltale signs that a family is "dysfunctional" is marked impairment in the area of personal hygiene. Not just the teenagers, either. Sometimes the WHOLE family smells like a foot. Some of this has to do with meth use- burning methamphetamine smells like cat urine. Those fumes can leave a film on anything, including clothing, skin, and hair. During one particular intake (a meeting with a family that was new to counseling) I started noticing my office was REALLY smelling bad. This isn't terribly uncommon in my field...but these folks were ripe!

I keep air freshener and Febreeze in my office for these occasions. I keep it right by the door. You see, usually I walk families out of my office and escort them back out to the lobby. When I return to my office the smell can flat-out punch me in the face. I mean it is POTENT. That's where the Febreeze comes in. On this particular day I was running late- the next family (which happened to be another intake) was already waiting. So I made like a gunfighter with my quick-draw and doused the entire office. Then I hustled in the next family. I could still feel the spray in the air when I walked back in to my office.

About ten minutes into my next interview my nose sounded an alarm. It was the smell of cat urine mixed with smoke and stale clothing. There was also a hint of body odor and locker room floor. I thought I scented a whiff of pungent, acrid butt-chunks as well.

"Sorry about the smell," I offered, "the last family in here were some serious smokers...I tried to spray everything down but sometimes it's hard to get rid of that smell." They chuckled nervously and the session went on.

But the smell persisted. Suddenly I wondered if the smell was actually growing stronger! That's when I realized...this family smelled even worse than the last family. Oh no. I got through the interview and saw them out. I came back and sprayed the office down again. I go through a lot of febreeze in my office.