"Ho'ing for coke"

Ran 9 miles in a blizzard yesterday. We were about 3 miles in when it started snowing. At one point I turned my music off and listened to my feet and the snow. At one point I stopped and was able to just listen to to the snow falling. It's an eerie sound- especially after a weekend alone with the boys. It was pure peace and quiet! Then I remembered I couldn't feel my face and I high-tailed it out of there. I'm starting to feel doubtful about my ability to complete Robie. The climb is simply relentless!

And now: a story from counseling for your wonder, amazement, and entertainment.

I was working with a young girl who was sexually abused. Since she transitioned into jr. high she became hyper-sexual. Part of her trauma-response was to develop the distorted thought that her value to others was found in her sexual abilities. Also, since she enjoyed the sex, she was conditioned to use sexual promiscuity as a coping skill for anxiety. To make matters worse, she was dabbling in marijuana and alcohol abuse.

I attempted to educate her on the "gateway drug" phenomenon. But she would not be swayed. Finally I brought the parent in to the session. NOTE: This parent had some fundamentalist leanings and would NOT be amused about her daughter's use. But nothing could prepare me for what came next.

The girl admitted to her mother that she was using marijuana. As anticipated, the mom blew a gasket. Her face became bright red and I braced myself for the worst. But rather than yell at her daughter, which has been her mode of operation all along, she started crying. I allowed a long, long period of silence. Then the mom starts self-disclosing about her own adolescence- she told her story of how she began using marijuana and having sex with older boys and then before she knew it she was "ho'ing for coke." I almost choked when she said this.

The situation was rapidly deteriorating. The mom had comandeered the session and was giving the daughter ammunition to justify her own behavior. I explained (gently) to the mother that her sharing was appreciated and that the meeting should remain focused on her daughter. But the mom just went right ahead with her story- now she was giving us the specific details. I was torn because it seemed to be really cathartic for the parent. And the child was listening intently.
But I knew this needed to stop. I'd tried being subtle and now it was time to assert myself and control the session. Internally, I summoned my courage and planned my strategy.

Suddenly, I heard the mother utter the following phrase: "I slept with every Harry, Dick, and Tom in the Treasure Valley!" Noticing she bumbled the phrase "Tom, Dick, and Harry," a snicker immediately escaped my lips. Before I could help myself, I was laughing out loud. She stopped her tirade and looked at me with confusion. The daughter looked relieved. This was my opportunity! I seized the chance and reclaimed the session.

I run across some crazy stuff sometimes.