I took a day off yesterday "just because." Actually, it was part of my plan to be present with my kids more often. It feels like an inevitability that they will outgrow me, at least for a time. So my plan is to bask in their admiration while I have it and do my best to ensure the feeling is reciprocated.
I broke the day into two distinct "dad dates," one with each son. I took the younger swimming, to the park, to the pet store, and to lunch. Swimming was a definite highlight for both of us. For him, swimming was just fun. For me, swimming presented a visual I may never forget: the water aerobics class. Now, I have seen this class before, they usually get down in the diving well. But this time they were in the kids' pool. They spent much of their time in a circle. But towards the end they fanned out and faced Luke and I and begin marching forward and laterally. It was like the Thriller video, with added polka dot one-pieces and purple hair. I kept expecting them to turn their heads to the side and open their mouths like Michael Jackson.
With the older I went to a local coffee shop for a PC video game session. We played Lego Star Wars Clone Wars cooperatively, and I was able to help him unlock a few new levels. Then we went and saw a movie, How to train your dragon. It was a cool flick. We saw it in 3D, actually. He wasn't remotely impressed by the 3D. In fact, he actually asked me what the glasses were for- he didn't notice the difference! (Now, having seen 3D Avatar, I have to endorse 3D movie technology...but not 3D movie prices).
I'm amazed at how different my sons are. From a psychoanalytical perspective, it's like each boy represents a distinct piece of me. One is the athlete, the extroverted and social boy with a sweet tooth. This boy wants to be active, to go swimming and play soccer, and to run, jump, and climb. The other is the thinker, the introverted and inquisitive. This boy is fascinated by machinery and electronics, and always wants to answer "how," questions. It's amazing how they are developing into individuals with their own personalities, likes and dislikes.
I felt like it was a successful day- I was present and engaged with them for the entire day. It was exhausting, but it was worth it.
And, speaking of exhaustion, the Race to Robie Creek is only 10 days away. We've completed our last long run- last Saturday I ran 10 miles in 4-6inches of snow. It was hectic, and amazing. I remember thinking, so, this is what I'm doing with my life. But it felt genuine, or authentic, to be out there doing it. It wasn't disappointment or longing to belong (I'm considerably slower than my running mates)- it was simple enjoyment of the "here and now."
(And now I realize) In running, the fragments of myself, which I now see reflected in my sons, are given a place to co-exist peacefully. So I'm grateful, content, and satisfied.
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2 comments:
Today the police officer came and talked to the students about bullying. His message was about defining yourself. Deciding sooner rather than later what kind of person you want to be, (if you want to make a difference,etc.) What a difficult task for young kids to do!I think the biggest impact on kids is modeling. We all remember what we experienced and saw growing up. You are such a great model to them. I'm so proud of you and the man you are.
Keep on with what you're doing! You're doing the right stuff. And yep it will be exhausting, but a good, good tired.
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